Friday, August 26, 2011

The truth about peeing on sticks...

I came across this on an old blog dated 2006. I thought it was hilarious, and incredibly accurate.


Pregnancy tests are about as addictive as crack. The commercials on TV inevitably show attractive, young, active, fertile women who are apparently soothed by the definitive nature of these tests. Use this simple one-step home pregnancy test (AKA HPT), they say, and you will know FOR SURE within a few minutes whether you'll have a beautiful and stress-free pregnancy OR will finally be able to take that much-desired nuclear power plant manager job in New Jersey. The reality is not quite so clear. Even though they say there is only one step, there are actually three. Here is how it REALLY works:

Step One: Pee on the absorbent end of the stick for a full 20 seconds more than the recommended time, just in case the urine at the top of your bladder has more hormones than the urine that comes out first. (Try not to pee on hands, toilet seat, stick handle or floor.)

Step Two: Stare at the test windows for the full 10 minute waiting period, pee a few more drops on it just in case you didn't pee enough the first time, hold it up to the light, hold it at eye level, hold it up in front of a window, toss it away after not seeing anything within the 10-minute limit, retrieve them from the garbage can 30 minutes later and hold it again up to the light, go outside to look at it in the sun, take a picture of it with a digital camera and publish the picture on FF so that hundreds of like-minded, obsessed women can pore over it, enlarge it, invert it and otherwise alter it on any one of a number of photo editing programs, declare that they DO IN FACT SEE A LINE and post emoticons of jumpy green men in jubilant celebration of your obviously impending pregnancy.

Step Three: Repeat steps one and two several times daily beginning 7 days past ovulation (DPO) and continuing until 3 days after period starts. Promise yourself you are not going to pee on anything this next cycle.


Saturday, August 6, 2011


Robitussin is heralded by many as a miracle fertility aid. A quick Google search and you will find plenty of women claiming that Robitussin is what helped them get pregnant. A Globe and Mail article billed it as "a $5 bottle of hope."

How can Robitussin possibly help me get pregnant?

Robitussin's main ingredient, Guaifenesin, is used to thin mucus. It's intended use is to clear chest congestion (phlegm). Guaifenesin has the same effect on all types of bodily mucus, including cervical mucus.

In some cases, a woman might produce too much mucus or have too thick of mucus. In these cases it is believed that Robitussin may help thin out that mucus, allowing sperm to travel through the mucus and *hopefully* fertilize an egg.